Daintiness

When I came back to work Monday morning, I was expecting a few hundred emails in my inbox since I didn't check it a dozen times a day over the weekend to keep things to my 25-to-respond-to max like usual. But to my surprise, there were none- not even any spam! The server went down over the weekend, and the IT guys have been able to get all the accounts except for two up and running. If a tree is going to drop an acorn in a crowd, it will be on my head. If a drunk driver is going to hit any car, it will be mine. If 1 person in 10 million is going to have a reaction to a flu shot and face plant into the floor, it's me. And if any account is going to be dysfunctional in our server of hundreds of staff, students, and parents, apparently it will be mine too.

After two days of limited productivity at work, Kristi told me to "rest" today if my email still wasn't working. So I am. And it has been wonderful. The goal of today was to have a quality date with our God and thus regain my sense of daintiness.

I realize that probably sounds silly, but spending time in the Word, prayer, journaling, and just being still with God make me feel protected, and well...dainty. God and I mulled a lot of things over today, but here's something He challenged and encouraged me with, Hebrews 6. 9-12:

But, beloved, we are confident of better things concerning you, yes, things that accompany salvation, though we speak in this manner. For God is not unjust to forget your work and labor of love which you have shown toward His name, in that you have ministered to the saints, and do minister. And we desire that each one of you show the same diligence to the full assurance of hope until the end, that you do not become sluggish, but imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.

He is telling me, his beloved treasure, that He has good things in store for me, as if salvation isn't already enough and infinitely more than I deserve! He sees my work and the things I do in love for Him and for the missionary families that I'm currently serving. He is faithful. He sees my efforts even when I face disappointment and discouragement from those around me. He wants me to be diligent and not fall prey to the discouragement.

As I read and prayed through that passage, I could feel his shield going up around me. I have let myself be dragged down by disappointments these past few weeks and forgot that I had a stinkin big and strong Shield in front of me the whole time. I do not have to fight on my own, which is wonderful because it's really tiring, and I'm a weak little thing. "For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." Amen. Thus, I once again feel dainty and protected. My Shield has been there all along, I just forgot and have been peering around it's edge for too long.

Actually, after my date this morning, I felt so light and taken care of that I came home, turned on The Penguins, danced around for a bit, then tried on the only little black dress I brought to Germany. But when I looked in the mirror, I saw all the soccer scars on my legs and suddenly felt out of place in my own skin. What I was feeling on the inside didn't match the outside; just because God did some quality mending work on my heart this morning didn't mean he would take away my physical scars. And that's ok.

So, with my new found inner daintiness, I ditched the dress and heels and got the sweats back out and set to work on insulating the house, tending to the yard, working on the car, and rearranging furniture. I probably don't look too dainty right now, but I am so thankful that God is the keeper of my heart and that even as I strengthen my body and handy-woman skills, He is continually tending to my heart.